Saturday, 10 December 2005
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Currently Watching
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
see relatedI grew up with Narnia. Our family has a tradition of reading aloud, and The Chronicles were the first books we read together, when I was just a kid. After I heard them aloud, I read them myself. And read them again. And I have read them every year for I don’t know how many years. Even as an adult, they are my favorite books in the whole world, and every time I read them, I find new meaning.
It's hard for me to choose a favorite among them; I love the sheer magic of The Wardobe, the adventure of The Dawn Treader, and the epic finish of The Last Battle. I love them all, but all differently.
Of the characters, however, I can easily choose a favorite. Is it Reepicheep, the mouse who, rather comically, is revered as one of the noblest heroes of all Narnian history? Not quite. Is it the peripheral Glenstorm, perhaps? A centaur of incalculable wisdom and bravery? "Nobody ever laughed at a centaur." No, that’s not it either. Is it Shasta, the refugee who turns out to be the missing heir of Archenland? Almost.
It’s Peter. Hands down. Peter. He’s the oldest of four children, two brothers and two sisters; so am I. That alone is enough for me to identify with him. But also, I admire Peter because he represents something fierce and manly that exists in every boy’s heart. My favorite scene, of all the books, is when Peter comes to the rescue of his sister. When Father Christmas gives him sword, he receives it solemnly, but I don't think he quite knows what to do with it; perhaps, in the back of his mind, he quietly wonders if he could use it if had to. But when he sees Susan threatened, he doesn’t think, he doesn’t stop to be afraid, he just runs, draws, and lunges. I love that. When it counts, he acts, and in doing so proves what he’s really made of. He has what it takes. In the next few days, he leads an army into battle, overthrows a reign of tyranny, and is crowned the High King over all kings of Narnia. This is who he really is. He’s not just an insignificant child, he is a warrior and a regent. He is called to be this, meant to be this, fulfilled to be this. What an awesome picture that is of being prescribed, to man, to be a nation of royalty, to live by action in this world and to be gloriously revealed in the next.
Yes, Peter is my favorite. Peter is who I identify with. Except, I’m not Peter. I’m Edmund. I’m not even Eustace, the bullying, self-centered prick – I’m Edmund. The traitor. I let my greed, my own self-addiction, blind me to right and wrong. And I don't stop there, I don’t just set myself wrong. I assist the enemy. I’m the one that puts Aslan on the Stone Table. I’m the one that binds him, and kicks him, and shears his mane. I’m the one that plunges the dagger into his heart. I’m the traitor.
And because he lays there and dies… I am redeemed. And I can be Peter after all.
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Comments (7)
This post is largely a reflection of my thoughts lately about grace, and our/my identity in it. I think there is a tendency among Christians to focus too much on either our sinful nature, or else on our sainthood. The danger of the first is that it's easy to become wrapped up in conviction, feelings of worthlessness, and a false sense of guilt -- false not because we are not really guilty, but because we have been absolved and redeemed from all guilt. On the other hand, to focus only on our perfection is to take our salvation for granted -- from what, then, are we saved?
No, a true understanding of myself must realize both that I am unlovable, and that God loves me fiercely in spite of it. This is the essence of grace. Being aware that my sin makes me an utter outcast, and God not only welcomes me into His presence, but offers to complete me as the glorious being He always intended me to be. It’s only when I consider what I really am, of myself, that I can really appreciate the wonder of salvation, and who I am in grace. But then, what I "really" am, is equal parts conceived in perfection by God, fallen by sinful nature, and restored by His power. I am all of those, completely and simultaneously. This is grace. (Credit to The Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning.)
I don’t feel like I’m doing a particularly good job of explaining my thoughts here; it’s somewhat clear in my own mind, but I’m not sure how to explain it. That’s why I asked Jack to help, by lending me his characters for a page.
Thank you for your comments, ladies. Too often, my posts that get the most comments are silly things like a picture of a mushroom or a funny thing a 4-year-old said, and then when I have something really worth reading, it doesn’t get much response. So, it means a lot to me that this post meant something to you. Thanks.
i saw your comment on the Bay's blog...which in and of itself was truly inspiring, so i continued onto your site. you so wonderfully summed up what i feel like i struggle with all the time -- who i want to be (a Peter) and who i seem to find myself being (an Edmund). as i read, i felt so ashamed of who i am, and this feeling of guilt. and then i read the last two sentences.
"And because he lays there and dies...I am redeemed. And I can be Peter after all."
all of a sudden, my heart is full of hope again. a definite breath of fresh air for me, both spiritually and physically. (and at 2:15 am with hours more studying to go...it's a very welcome breath of fresh air)
i marvel at God's ways of providing for us just when we need it. often unexpected and always fits the situation perfectly. at this moment, you are God's blessing in my life.
thankyou